What Will They Say At Your Funeral?

 I have some bad news. I am dying. It may be morbid, but I am sitting here envisioning my funeral; who will be there an who will not.  I have the vision of my body in a pine box being lowered into a 6 foot grave. and the dirt being thrown on top of my coffin where it will remain forever. I have the vision of my family saying the Kaddish-the Jewish prayer for the dead as they lower my body into the ground. I have the vision of the 7 day mourning period known as Shiva beginning immediately thereafter. I have the vison of meeting God, assuming He or She exists,  and pleading my case for salvation as the heavenly prosecutors detail every bad deed I had transgressed. And finally I envision my existence fading from the memories of my friends and family as they resume their lives in my absence. The thought is sobering. 

When I say I am dying, I do not say it in the sense that I am terminally ill or that my dead is imminent-at least I hope not! There are those who obviously beg to differ. I say it in the sense that we are all dying. With every day, we are one step further from our birth and one step closer to our expiration date. There is no escaping the sad fact that the only thing that is certain in life is that at some point it ends. We all just hope that we make the best of the time we have. In other words, live every day like it's your last because it just might be. Perhaps this is coming to mind as I live less than a mile from the building that collapsed in Surfside where nearly 100 people were killed in one of the greatest tragedies in I have ever witnessed. None of those people went to bed that night thinking they would never see the light of day again. But then again no one ever does. To face our own mortality runs counter to the super ego embedded in the psyche of most living beings. To dwell on it makes it impossible to live. However, to keep it in mind allows us to live life to its fullest and cherish all of the good in our lives. 

It is worth noting that I left out part of  my funeral. I left out the eulogies. There is a Kabbalistic teaching that a person does attend his own funeral and sees the people that attend and hears the words of praise, or lack thereof that are uttered while his body lies in state. As a former felon this is extraordinarily sobering. For me as well as for many who found themselves in prison the last thing we want is to be remembered for the fact that we went to prison. It is hard enough that we have lost months or years of the relatively short amount of time we have  in this world. That however pales in comparison to the thought that the time in prison could be our everlasting legacies. If we committed crimes is that how we would want to be remembered? For those of us who wish to live the answer is no. For those of us who do not wish to live, well you can read this from three years ago http://www.whitecollarguru.com/2018/06/suicide.html

The advantage of having spent time in prison is that when we get out we value the simple things in life. We realize that every day is precious and time is not to be wasted. We realize that we must put every single day to good use and become productive members of society. We also realize that life is too short to be wasted on people who are well, just not good people. Every moment counts. We are on a constant mission to redeem ourselves so that we are not defined or remembered for our time in prison. 

So, how do we do that? Well that is a damn good question. At the end of the day there is no silver bullet to securing a good eulogy. That being said, there is something to be said from being knocked down and getting up; from losing everything and rebuilding; from facing despair and moving on. I think that is the answer. At my funeral, no one is going to speak about how much money I made or didn't make after I was released, even though starting a new career is no easy task. They are not going to care how many boards I sat on. They will certainly not speak about my adherence or lack of adherence to religious doctrine. So what will they care about? I think they will care about the fact that we as former prisoners resumed our normal lives. If we were good people and upstanding members of society after our release then they will speak about that. I'll be happy if someone would just get up and say "he was a good guy who was kind to others and lived life to its fullest". Whether actually does say that remains to be seen. So, to my fellow former inmates, What will they say at your funeral?

SENTENCING DAY. FIVE YEARS LATER

 

As I sit here today, Monday October 26, 2020, I am instantly transformed back to the last time October 26 came out on a Monday. The year was  2015. That was the day that I was sentenced and taken into custody. I wrote about this day three years go and it can be read at http://www.whitecollarguru.com/2017/10/the-defendant-is-hereby-remanded-to.html

 

For some reason today is harder than the other anniversaries. Perhaps it is because it is the 5-year anniversary or perhaps it is because like then, this year it falls out on a Monday. Without question it was the worst day of my life. I am sure most of my family would say the same-there are always exceptions! I feel as though I am sitting here but am being transformed back in time and reliving that day hour by hour, minute by minute and second by second. I remember driving to the courthouse, waiting to get it, and having my lawyers advocate for me. I am reliving the speech that I gave to the judge an in front of family and friends expressing regret for “the person I had become” in 2009 and hoping against hope that the judge would find it in his heart to allow me to avoid prison time. Finally, I remember the judge dashing my hopes and asking the US Marshals Service to remand me to custody.

It is kind of eerie. Although it was happening to me and I therefore could not possibly have watched it, I felt then as I feel know that I was hovering outside my own body as I was told to remove my belt and tie. I remember gazing upon myself as I was escorted out of the courtroom to the chamber in front where they proceeded to place handcuffs on my wrists and shackled around my ankles. If it were not so sad it would have been comical. I knew then as I know now that I always lived my life close to the edge, often too close, but ending up in prison? Me? How in the world did this happen? The worst part is what goes through your mind as this is happening. I sat there wondering how do I come back from this? How will I rebuild? How will I survive prison? What will happen to my family? Will my children suffer irreparable damage? Will they be ashamed? Will they be embarrassed by me? There is no worse feeling that that sense of defeatism and having no hope whatsoever. I think that this is the intent of the criminal justice system. While the stated goal is physically lock you up, the real goal is to paralyze you into an irreparable state of hopelessness and despair.

That was then and this is now. I sit here today at what we all hope is the end of the COVID epidemic. We as a society have been subjected to a collective imprisonment as quarantines were enacted, travel bans imposed, and businesses shuttered. The sense of despair across our society was palpable as these restrictions began to take place. Now as one who had been in prison, I guess I was “fortunate” in the sense that the quarantines, while unpleasant, was nothing compared to actual incarceration. Speak with any former prisoner and he will unequivocally state that this was a cake walk compared to actual incarceration- even if he was fortunate enough to serve his time in a minimum security camp such as where I served the bulk of my time. Yes, the loss of life has been tragic, and should never have happened but for the individual former prisoner this is nothing.

 

As I mentioned, the worst part of the process was the sense that all is lost and that you will never recover. The cure for that is too start looking forward from the day you start serving your time. It is what I have endeavored to do since that horrible day five years ago. It is not easy. At the same time, there is no point in dwelling on the past other than to learn from it. If someone would have asked me on that day if I thought I would be where I am today, I would have thought he belonged in an insane asylum.  I would have suggested he also get locked up! Yet here I am today having embarked on a new career and cannot be happier. I can honestly say that I am happier in my profession in 2020 that I was in in 2015 and 2014 for that matter. I work day in and day out with some of the best and brightest men and women in my profession and they judge me for who I am today and now who they may have read about in some inaccurate article written over 10 years ago. As a quasi-co-defendant told me when I entered the Miami Prison Camp, “they can take many things from you but the one thing they cannot take from you is your brain. Mike you are a smart guy, and you will rebuild”. We had not been friends at any point during 2009 but he was kind enough to give me that encouragement as we walked the track on the day I arrived. It is a truism that I have never forgotten.

Many of my other worries have dissipated as well. My children, who were my main sources of concern used it as an experience from which they can grow. Without exception they are excelling at levels I never would have thought possible. They are all near or at the top of the classes. My oldest child even used the experience of being the child of an incarcerated parent as the topic for her college essay. Socially even most of my friends stood by me. Sure, some of them disappeared but in hindsight, they were never real friends anyway.

As for me, well the experience changed me. I am not going to lie, no one ever really changes, at least not permanently. I am still as opinionated, spiteful, and often arrogant as ever. At the same time, my approach to life and my appreciation of all I have is certainly more at the forefront. The very fact that I can run on the beach is something to appreciate. The ability to see family and friends whenever I want is something to appreciate. The privilege to work with amazing people is something to appreciate. These are all seemingly mundane activities that most people take for granted. It is not until these “normal” daily activities are no longer “normal” that we realize how lucky we are.

 

So here I am five years later. Do I dwell on the past too much? Probably. But at the same time I am always looking forward, finding a way to make myself better and realizing that every day is a gift. As the saying goes: Yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. And here is another one for my religious friends out there: G-d put your eyes in front of your head so that you always look forward and not backward.

The Jeff Epstein Netflix Special and Brad Edwards. A Story I have Never Told Before.

I just finished watching the Jeff Epstein special on Netflix. It made me sick to my stomach and if anyone reading this wants to avoid losing their appetite, he or she should not watch this. As a parent of two daughters, it makes me sick. The whole episode is so incomprehensible. From the fact that his crimes went on for so long to the sweetheart deal his lawyers got for him to his ultimate end proves that adage that often times, truth is stranger than fiction.

There is another part of the story that was not covered in the Netflix story. It is a story that maybe five people are privy to. It is a story that I have told to perhaps three people. I am not even sure that I told it to my own lawyers. It is a story that needs to be told. I share this story not out of vengeance not out of malice. I share this story because as a father of two daughters I am outraged. I am outraged at what happened to these girls and I am outraged that law enforcement either covered up his actions or were complicit in the crimes. I am also outraged because while it is terrible that these girls were exploited by Jeff Epstein, while it is outrageous that Alex Acosta allowed him to get away with it,  it is equally abhorrent that they were exploited for financial  by someone else many of these victims trusted. While I generally refrain from talking about my own personal case, I feel that this story merits an exception because as I said, nearly 11 years after I was initially implicated in a crime, it is a story that must be told.

 

When Jeff Epstein was arrested, I did post a blog about him. For those of you who missed it, you can read it here: http://www.whitecollarguru.com/2019/07/will-jeff-epstein-walk-free.html. My personal opinion is that ultimately Jeff Epstein was going to get away with it. Sure, he was going to be in prison until his trial started and possibly would have even been found guilty. However, at some point there was going to be some court, possibly the Supreme Court, that was going to have to tackle the question of whether Epstein’s deal, flawed as it was, did protect him from being prosecuted for all of his related crimes that took place prior to 2008. My personal opinion was that at the end of the day, the law was going to come down on Epstein’s side.  I say this for simple reason that if it would not, then every person who accepted a plea deal, present company included, could, in theory be charged for that same crime in another district. The entire system of plea deal would fall apart at the seams and defendants would no longer accept plea deals. From a purely pragmatic standpoint Epstein’s deal was going to stand.

That, however, is not the story I wish to tell today. I am sure there are many of you who are familiar with my case to varying degrees. But for those who are not and for those who just do not remember, I was involved in a case that purportedly was selling what were effectively viatical settlements. In simple terms, a plaintiff would settle for a payment to be paid out over a period of time and rather than wait, the plaintiff would sell the stream of payments to an investor at a discount in exchange for a lump sum payment up front. This is a common investment pitched by JG Wentworth as well as some other companies. The types of cases ranged from sexual harassment claims to class action to employment issues to qui tam cases and the returns were similarly varied. Unbeknownst to me, and unfortunately for the investors none of the cases actually existed. Ultimately the prosecutors admitted I had no role in that scheme but managed to get me to plea to something else, but that is a story for another time.

 

I am going to take you all back to the summer of 2009. Jeff Epstein had recently been released from prison. At around the same time, Alex Acosta, the person who headed up the US Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of Florida stepped down to become dean of the law school at Florida International University. He also started hanging out in Fort Lauderdale with Scott Rothstein at around the same time. Scott Rothstein was the mastermind behind the viatical settlement Ponzi scheme. I myself met Acosta at least two times at Bova Prime, a restaurant in Fort Lauderdale. For those of you who have watched the Netflix series, you will remember that there are three attorneys representing the victims of Jeff Epstein. It is my belief that representing these victims and getting their stories told is of the noblest cases a lawyer can take. One of those prominently featured is an attorney by the name of Brad Edwards. Coincidentally enough, Brad Edwards joined Scott Rothstein’s firm in 2009 and was a lawyer there at the time Acosta started hanging around with Rothstein. Why did Edwards join Rothstein’s firm? Well according to what I had heard, he was representing a bunch of victims and his firm did not have the financial capabilities to handle the case. His clients certainly had hired him on a pure contingency basis. Scott Rothstein’s firm did, however, have the financial resources to fund the cases. I imagine for Rothstein, it amounted to the opportunity to earn fees from these settlements in exchange for funding these cases. Unfortunately, Rothstein, and it seem ultimately Edwards, and possibly even Acosta had more sinister plans in mind.

 

As I mentioned the cases that were purportedly being funded varied. In September of 2009, a new “class” of cases emerged. We were told that we were now going to be funding cases that were being settled by a defendant named Jeffrey Epstein. At the time, I really had no idea who he was, but was told he had been pleaded guilty to having sex with underage girls, had just gotten out of prison, and was now being sued by these girls. Supposedly, these girls did not want to relive the horror of their experience at a trial (who could blame them) and were willing to settle confidentially out of court for a stream of payments totaling $20 million. Each. These girls were tired of fighting and tired of waiting and anyone who settled was willing to sell their settlement for a one-time lump payment of $10 million. These were by far the largest individual settlements we were funding and quite honestly the reason for the massive discount was its size and the number of cases that had to be settled.

 

Another aspect of these settlements was their confidentiality in nature. In general, there was little if any information available about the underlying case, even to me. Here however, suddenly there was a plethora of information available to me about the Epstein case. I, as well of one or two of the investors, was permitted to go through court filings and even read depositions and see exhibits. The investor that I can say for certain looked at these documents even had a law degree. I vividly remember looking at a flight manifest from Epstein’s plane that had the names of Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew listed. While my memory is not as fresh as it was in 2009, I seem to recall seeing the names David Copperfield, Robert Mueller and Alan Dershowitz as well. According to Scott, the reason these settlements had to be kept so confidential was not because of Epstein; everyone knew he was a rapist. It was the other people who were with him, who may or may not have victimized these poor girls that were forcing Epstein to keep things confidential.

 

The issue I had was that these cases were just too big. I needed more information. I needed to speak with someone who was intimately involved with these settlements. I told this to Scott, and he arranged for me to speak with the lawyer who was representing these women. He arranged for me to speak with Brad Edwards.

 

My conversation with Brad Edwards was direct and to the point. I asked him straight out if these were his clients and he confirmed that they were. I asked him if they were entering into settlements with Jeff Epstein and he confirmed that they were. I asked him why they would not go to court, and he told me that the pain of reliving the experience was just too great for them to bare. I asked why they cannot wait to receive their $20 million and he explained that they have no money and that they were so traumatized by Epstein that they needed their money up front. He claimed his clients also did not believe Epstein would ultimately pay. I then asked him why the discount was so great, and he explained that since there were so many settlements, it would be impossible to fund them all if the cost to the investor was greater. He also made it seem that he was not giving his clients the option to take the stream of payments. He made it seem that he was telling his clients that if the settle, they also have to sell their settlement to the investor so that everyone is the same. There was only one problem with that Edwards was telling me: None of it was true since none of the settlements, as it turned out actually existed.

 

We had looked through thousands of pages of documents. We had read through depositions. We had seen settlement documents signed by Jeff Epstein. As a result of all of that data as well as Brad Edwards’ confirmation we had funded at least $40 million in “Epstein Settlements”. But now even years later I still cannot believe that Edwards lied to my face, that he aided and abetted Scott Rothstein. Watching him today on the Netflix series, having him portray himself as a hero to these women made me sick. Yes, to the extent that he has been their advocate he is to be praised but so should the other two lawyers featured in the series. Unlike the other lawyers, Edwards exploited his clients. The question is why. Why did he lie to all of these investors and exploit his clients in the name of what turned out to be a fraud? Did he do so because he was getting a payment from Rothstein? Surely, that should have come out by now.  Did he do so simply out of loyalty to his boss, as many others had done?  Did he do so because Scott assured him it was no big deal? To this day I have no idea why he did it, I just know he lied to me and as a result of his lies $40 million was lost.

 

It should not be lost what I mentioned before that around the same time we were funding the settlements, Acosta appeared in Rothstein’s orbit. Coincidence? Maybe. I have come to learn that there are no coincidences in life. In the Netflix series, Edwards claims he was left out of all plea discussion surrounding Epstein. He appears outraged! Yet, it is totally unfathomable to me that he and Acosta did not at least cross paths during the summer of 2009. It is unfathomable to me that Scott did not arrange for them to meet. It is unfathomable to me that even if he had heard that Acosta was in the vicinity that he would not have accosted (pun intended) him! The only explanation is that Edwards is a liar and that he (and possibly even Acosta) were complicit in Rothstein’s fraud.

 

Now there is one major problem with my conspiracy theory and a major reason that I am not to believed. Rothstein, in the years following his being sent off to prison for 50 years gave a series of depositions. In one of those depositions he seems to exonerate Edwards and says that Edwards had no idea that his records were being used to perpetuate a fraud. For me this was very confusing, and it has puzzled me for many years. It is especially puzzling in light of the lies Scott spewed about me and many others at his depositions. Yet for Edwards, someone who lied to me, got a free pass. Sure, it is possible that Rothstein simply forgot, but why go out of his way to exonerate the man? It simply made no sense.  Today, as I was watching the Netflix special, it finally came to me. Rothstein had been hoping for a break in his sentence. He was hoping that by implicating others the prosecutors would recommend his sentence be substantially reduced. Let us not forget the position that Alex Acosta had formerly held; he was the US Attorney for the Southern District of Florida. He was appointed by President George W. Bush. In other words, he was the former boss of the same people who had the power to reduce Rothstein’s sentence. Is it really out of the realm of possibility that the prosecutors told Rothstein to keep whatever dirt he had on Acosta to himself? Clearly, since he and Edwards were so connected to the Epstein case, any implication of Edwards would inevitably lead back to Acosta! This is especially so since Acosta left the USAO and started hanging around with Rothstein at the same time Edwards starts helping Rothstein perpetuate a fraud. The prosecutors needed to keep their old boss and by extension out of this mess. Opening up that can of worms would certainly have reflected poorly on the office given the amazing plea deal given to Epstein. It certainly would not have helped Rothstein get a reduction! That is my theory anyway.

It does give rise to another issue and I guess it applies to every defendant in the Rothstein mess. If the prosecutors were trying to protect their old boss and by extension the entire office, it does taint the entire investigation. Prosecutors are able to quite easily steer an investigation in anyway they can. It would seem, that since Epstein was such a big part of the Rothstein scheme that the entire office should have recused itself because of that every conflict relating to Epstein. However, none of them did so. It does call the entire direction into question and could very well be a reason for any of the defendants to appeal their convictions. That however is a side point and not relevant to the story today.

 

So, there you have it. That is my story according to the best of my recollection. In light of the series it is a story that I had to finally put on paper so to speak. I did fund it cathartic to finally get it off my chest as I had been keeping it bottled up for so long. So, will the real Brad Edwards please stand up?

MICHAEL COHEN: WORLD"S DUMBEST MAN

I have written a few blogs about Michael Cohen. I have said that prison would be very bad for him, and for what I am told, it was not great for him to be there. Michael Cohen went to Otisville, AKA the “Jewish Prison”. This is a prison that “caters” to Orthodox Jews; Jews who overwhelmingly support Donald Trump. Just about every Jew who get convicted of a white-collar crime that carries a sentence of less than 10 years, but more than five years ends up doing at least a little bit of time in Otisville. Unfortunately, Otisville does not have an RDAP (alcohol rehab) program at the camp. The irony of that odd fact cannot be overstated! So aside for the time spent at other prisons to complete the RDAP program, most white-collar Jews end up in Otisville.

So, what do you think happened to Mr. Cohen, who bad mouthed the Donald Trump to try and save himself, as soon as he entered prison where the President has a 90% approval rating? Well naturally he was attacked! That is what I have been told at least. A person with a brain, and I think we can establish Mr. Cohen is not very normal, would have asked to go to a prison where he would not be entering a hostile environment. While he clearly was going into any prison as a celebrity, he could have chosen one where he would not be walking into the proverbial lion’s den. One can call it ignorance or call it arrogance. It was just dumb.

 

Well Michael Cohen, like many other prisoners was released from prison due to the COVID pandemic. Well he was not exactly released, but he was given permission to serve the remainder of his sentence at home. This was not a perk unique to Michael Cohen as just about every prisoner gets to serve the lesser up 10% of the total sentence or six months under home confinement. While this is not prison, it is not exactly freedom either. For the most part an ankle bracelet must be worn, and every move the inmate makes must be reported. A call must be made prior to leaving a current location such as home and upon arrival at the pre-approved destination, such as work or church. In other words, an inmate under home confinement is not allowed to go to the moves, go out to dinner, go to the gym or even go for a stroll. Home confinement is not freedom! The punishment for not abiding by these restrictions is having the home confinement revoked and being sent right back to prison. Everyone knows this!

 

One would think that any prisoner especially one as famous as Michael Cohen would bide his time at home and play by the rules. This is especially so since Michael Cohen is so recognizable that if he is to violate the rules someone would find out. One would also assume that these rules, under the COVID environment would be easy to abide by. So, what does our genius Michael Cohen do? Well he decided it would be a good idea to go out to dinner, at night, with friends and sit outside. I mean really??!!! Again, is it ignorance, arrogance or just stupidity? Well predictably, Michael Cohen, who is quite possibly the most foolish man in the country, was photographed and by the New York Post which obviously resulted in the Bureau of Prisons finding out he was not following the rules of home confinement!

 

The BOP now had a real problem. Ultimately Michael Cohen had to report to the probation office, where he was cuffed, shackled and sent back to…. you guessed it, Otisville! Now, however since he is coming from the outside, he is stuck in solitary confinement! What’s more he is now viewed as someone who cannot follow the rules so there is a good chance that he is not even going to get the home confinement time that he would have gotten had he not benefited from the COVID pandemic! All of this so that he can go to dinner. Is that normal?

One can only conclude that Michael Cohen is quite possibly the most stupid man in America. How he found himself in the President’s orbit for so many years is beyond logic, but he most certainly did not get there based on his intellect! Home Confinement is a privilege! Do not be like Michael Cohen!

 

TODAY IS MY LAST DAY OF PROBATION!!!!!!!

Today is my last day of probation. This is very different from the day of my official release from custody which I wrote about three years ago http://www.whitecollarguru.com/2017/04/isnt-it-euphoric-reflections-on-freedom.html In many ways today is a bigger celebration than the time of my release from custody three years ago

 It is a day that for which I have been waiting 10 years, five months and one week. I served three years of probation after having served one month in the Federal Detention Center, 10 months in a prison camp, almost five months in a halfway house and two months at under home confinement. My probationary period has lasted longer than my entire sentence.   It is a very very big deal that this day has finally arrived. As of midnight tonight, I will no longer be under the thumb of the United States criminal justice system. It is a day that I had been looking forward to for a very long time. I had celebratory events planned for tonight as well as tomorrow. It is therefore the ultimate irony that I am completing probation while under quarantine! The celebrations, as planned will not take place, but there will be celebrations, nonetheless.

Just to give a brief description of probation, or the legal term Supervised Release, is not prison. If I had to describe it, it would call it annoying on a practical day to day level. Permission needs to be granted by the probation officer to travel outside of your judicial district and that request form permission needs to be submitted two weeks prior to traveling. In order to leave the country, the sentencing judge needs to approve it. There are unannounced visits from the probation officer, which of course is just a minor inconvenience. There is the random drug testing where an officer needs to watch you leave a urine sample, which is of course humiliating. There is monthly financial reporting which again is just something to remember to do. But all of this is as I said simply an inconvenience. It is the psychological effect of probation that is the most difficult. It is the knowledge that even the smallest of infractions, even say a speeding ticket could land someone back in front of the judge or back in prison, especially if that interaction with the officer of the law is not reported to the probation officer. In my case, it was the knowledge that even over 10 years later I am still serving my sentence; that I need permission for something as mundane as a trip to New York. No, it is not the actual restrictions of probation that make it so difficult, it is the actual knowledge that even after having served a sentence, even after having paid the debt to society, it is still not over.

Now that it is ending, I can reflect on my life as it was then and what it is now. In my sentencing speech made in 2015 I told the judge that I was disgusted by the person I had become in 2009. I had become an egomaniac (even by my lofty standards) whose only drive was to accumulate as much power and money as possible. I cared about the power more than the money. It mattered to me more who I was associated with, which governor or political candidate who I can meet than what they stood for. Moreover, none of my friends, bothered to call me out on it, not that I would have listened anyway. I would have simply attributed their criticism to jealousy.

I now reflect on the person I was in 2015, as I was getting indicted, pleading guilty and ultimately sentenced. That person is also someone of whom I am not proud. I was depressed, my self-esteem was battered, and I thought that my life was over. I was sad all the time even though I did my best to put on a brave face for my family and friends. I was also angry all the time. I had lost my career, which was going quite well even before 2008, I was in a business I did not like, I had settled with a bankruptcy trustee to give up the vast majority of my wealth which included funds that had nothing to do with my case. I was angry because I felt I was being sent to prison not because I was guilty, but because the prosecutors were able to coerce a plea deal out of me  which I had taken rather than go to trial where I could neither afford the representation nor the risk of losing. I was always anxious, I drank a lot, and was self-medicating because I was unable to sleep at night. I have said before that that experience was in many ways worse than prison and that at least getting sentenced ended that stage. I was in a bad place and that person is also someone who I am ashamed to have become.

I look at myself today and I see a survivor. The experience of the past 10 years has changed me for the better and has transformed every aspect of my life in ways I could never have imagined. I am not saying this to brag, but they threw everything they had at me and I am still standing today. I am certainly a different person. I have a job that I love but one that I would never have if I had not gone through this experience. I have lost a lot of friends, but I learned very early on in the process that the friends who do not stand by you when you are at your worst were never friends at all. They were friends of convenience but of little substance. In essence my circle of friends has gotten smaller, but they are real friendships. In the three years that I have been on probation, I have made new friends both socially and professionally. These are relationships that had I not gone through this experience I would not have and as I sit here today, I view these relationships as indispensable. These new people in my life know my history, and not only accept me for it but respect me for it. They are not judgmental in any way because they know who I am today and everything in the past just does not matter. It is the relationships that you forge during and after traumatic life events that are the relationships worth having and I am thankful every day not only for the friends and family that stood by me but especially for those new friendships I have made which never would even exist but my going through this experience. There really is a master plan in the universe.

So, what’s next? The very idea that this is finally over is euphoric. It is surreal. I actually have trouble believing it myself. For a former felon the rebuilding never stops. He always feels he has something to prove because he always thinks people are talking about his past. I don’t think that feeling will every go away, no matter how much success or failure I ultimately realize in this next stage of my life. The key is to make the right decisions, forge real relationships, and never ever let this horrible experience, and it is a horrible one, get control and ruin your life. It is an experience that can only make you stronger, it is an experience that has the potential to make you a better person and it is an experience that shows you the fabric of true friendship.

As we sit here under virtual quarantine, we are all bemoaning loss of our freedom. It is hard for all of us. But it is important to remember, and not lose site of what is really important. Yes, it is hard and yes, we cannot go about our lives and it is true we cannot have the celebrations we wanted to enjoy. We are all in a sort of prison. As a former prisoner, the best advice I can give is to focus on what really matters in times like this. If everyone in your family is healthy, be grateful because there are over a million people suffering with this terrible disease. If you are not alone be grateful because plenty of people are suffering alone in isolation right now. And remember to the extent possible engage in acts of kindness, because as with every prison sentence this will end, and we will emerge better and stronger.

My Dad Was In Prison!

How will children deal with the reality that they had a parent in prison? Preparing children for prison is something that I addressed a couple of years ago when I spoke about the responsibility that parents have toward their children and preparing them for a parent going to prison in http://www.whitecollarguru.com/2017/05/what-to-say-and-what-not-to-say-to.html

Today, I am not referring to the time while the parent is incarcerated, which is a discussion in and of itself. Rather, I am specifically referring to the time after a parent comes home and how children go through life with the reality that there was time when the parent was is prison. The time that a parent was incarcerated was no doubt a traumatic period and its impact will remain with the children throughout their lives. It does not matter if the term of incarceration was one month or 20 years. The bottom line is the children went through a time when a parent was not around because he was either found guilty or pleaded guilty to a crime. Birthdays were missed, holidays were missed, and important events were missed. This is time we cannot get back. However, I am going to discuss how children deal with the time after release.

Last month I wrote about the necessity of the former inmate not to shy away from the fact he was in prison http://www.whitecollarguru.com/2019/11/prison-you-need-to-own-it.html. The same can be said for children. I have found the less a child stigmatizes the fact that a father will be in prison, the less others will as well. Children need to feel that they should not be ashamed that a parent was in prison. That’s not to say that they should advertise it, but when it comes up, or when a situation arises that the child can use it to his advantage, he should not be afraid to do so.

I have not written a lot about my kids for obvious reasons. Each of my kids are very different from one another and each dealt with my incarceration differently and each deal with the past differently. Amazingly enough, my three children dealt with it in their own way and powered through. At any time, any of them could have had the excuse to act out, do poorly in school or just sink into a depression, but they did not do so. They dealt with it as adults when, they were just children. They never needed any professional help, and kept up their grades. I would argue that today they are better people for having gone through a very bad situation. As I grow older, I believe more and more that there is a master plan at work. Some will call it G-d, and some will call it destiny. I believe that there was a master plan for me to go to prison and that I was given children with the constitutions to withstand such a cataclysmic event. I do not believe in randomness.

The road to where they are today has been a long one in the three plus years since I have been released. My kids have not shied away from who they are and who their father is. I have even allowed them to read the various articles about me on the web, since they know that 99% of what the read there is false. They have been forthcoming about their past with teachers, friends and anyone that asks. They have even used it to their advantage as I will illustrate with the following true story.

My daughter is taking a college level class in criminal justice. It is a class that she can probably even give at this point as I certainly can as well. Recently, her professor told the class that federal prisoners must server 97% of their sentences. My daughter, who is a lot like me, raised he hand and informed him that he was mistaken and that federal prisoners serve 85% of their sentences. Incidentally, this is not a teenager one should argue with since she is generally correct in her factual arguments. The professor was not convinced. He was adamant that he was correct, and my daughter was mistaken. Keep in mind that everyone in that class knows that I went to prison, so they knew who was correct in this argument. My daughter would not let this go and pursued the professor after class to prove him wrong. Again, she is a lot like her father. Finally, he said “How are you so sure!” To which my daughter responded as only she can, “BECAUSE MY FATHER WENT TO PRISON AND ONLY DID 85%!”. Now from what I am told the professor went pale white and I can only imagine that at that moment you could have heard a pin drop. The argument was over.

I am not retelling the story to point out my daughter’s inherent confidence. I am retelling it to point out that she is not ashamed of where she comes from. She is not ashamed to use her experiences to her advantage be it by correcting a teacher or even potentially using her experience to her advantage when it comes to applying to colleges next year. It is this type of confidence and lack of embarrassment that every child of a former prisoner should exude. They need to know that there is no shame in having had a parent go to prison. If anything, it helps them be more secure in who they are and will help them develop into productive adults.

Another opportunity unique that former prisoner have is to teach their children the lessons learned both while in prison as well as the time prior to serving. I am not talking about avoiding getting into trouble. Kids can figure that out on their own. I am talking about making them better people. One lesson that is important for children to learn is just because someone went to prison does not make them a bad person or even guilty for that matter. Aside from the importance of children respecting their parents, the truth of the matter is that there are plenty of people who are in prison who did nothing wrong. If a child can learn that just because a prosecutor said something it is not necessarily true, the child will learn the valuable lesson of making a judgment for himself and not relying on what others say. Along the same lines, children can be taught the lesson that everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves a second chance. Given that repentance is a basic tenant of every major religion and that they need to give other people second chances, children can also learn that even when they themselves make mistakes that they can recover and thrive as a result of that very mistake.

Just about every person in prison camp was wealthier before he went to prison and am no exception. The road back to prosperity is not an easy one and often decades may pass after incarceration before a former felon can get back to where he was financially prior to going to prison. Children learn from this that they don’t have to always have the fanciest clothes, the newest iPhones, the most elaborate vacations or the largest house. In a time when we as adults and our children are so driven by materiality, it is a good lesson to pass on that they can do just fine with a little or even a lot less. As they enter adulthood, they will have less of an entitlement complex and a greater work ethic since they learned early on that nothing comes easy to them. More importantly, they will have sympathy for those less fortunate than they are and will endeavor to give a helping hand to those in need.

As in every other challenge in life, the real test is how we respond. As former felons, do we blame society for our misfortunes, in this case prison, and wallow in anger or do we respond with strength? Children in this regard are no different than adults other than the fact that as adults we have a responsibility to our children. This continues post release and I would argue that the post release attitude is more important than the pre incarceration preparation. The way we handle our post release and the way our children see us handle ourselves has the potential to mold our children in the most positive ways and turn them into not only normal but thriving adults who will use the experience for the betterment of themselves and society at large.

PRISON: YOU NEED TO OWN IT!

Being a former prisoner elicits all sorts of reactions. Some people avoid any contact with former prisoners because of a belief that “all prisoners are bad”. There are some who will associate with former prisoners socially but when it comes to business, the former prisoner is still toxic and while a social relationship is all fine an good, a business relationship is off limits. Unfortunately, in the nearly three years since I was released, I have come across both types of people. Many of my old friends consider me to be dishonest not because of what I was accused of, but because of the punishment I received, deservedly so or not. I have also been shunned from new business opportunities because someone involved in the process decided to google me and decided I was just too much of a criminal. When I have expressed this disappointment to someone with whom I share an experience, he just told me “small minds, pay no attention”.

Thankfully, the world is not made up exclusively of small-minded people. Thankfully, there are those in this world who understand that not everyone who has gone to prison did so because they were guilty and even if guilty, they understand that one mistake should not ruin a person for life. I have never been a big fan of Kim Kardashian, but I do applaud her for everything she has done reform the prison system. The same goes for President Trump. Whether you love him, or you hate him (there is no in between) there is no argument that he has done more in the name of criminal justice reform than any president in modern times.

For those who know me and who follow me on this blog or on social media, they know that I do not hide from my past. I embrace it. My experience in the prison system has made me who I am today. Am I proud of it? No. Am I ashamed of it? Also no. The question is why. Why, when faced with all of the social stigmas and professional obstacles do I choose to post my blogs on Facebook, post pictures of the courthouse on my Instagram, and publicly recount various days such as the day I was indicted, the day I was sentenced and the day I was released? Why do I blog at all? Its because you need to own it!

A former prisoner needs to be confident that there are people who are not only willing to socialize with former prisoners, not only are they willing to do business with former prisoners, but they respect them for not hiding it. Professionally, I have started to come across people like this. One of them recently remarked to me that he/she thinks it is “totally amazing” that I put it all out there and that I do not try to hide my past; that in this person’s view, I am to respected more and not less.  I responded that to me, my past is not something that can be buried, not in the age of Google anyway. But this person was adamant, that there is something honest and true about how I do not hide from it. It is this person and people like this that keeps my faith in humanity and that in a world of closed-minded people all there are plenty of people who are not judgmental and who understand that going to prison doesn’t make someone a bad person. Keep it mind its not that this person is nonjudgmental of me even though I went to prison, although that would be the case anyway. No, it is because I am so up front about it that this person respects me. Not not everyone has such a clear moral compass to look at a situation so intelligently but those who do represent the epitome  people of integrity and clear headedness of society. Incidentally this person claims to haver never Googled me because “it just doesn’t matter what it says about me on Google and that I am judged by who I am today.

In today’s world nothing can be hidden. If the Brett Kavanagh hearings taught us anything it is that nothing can remain secret. Let us not forget that those allegations were from 30 years ago; a time before Google and even the internet. In today’s world, within 15 seconds it is possible to know a person’s entire life history. As former prisoners we have a choice, we can either hide from our past or we can embrace it. Or do we have a choice after all? It’s your life. OWN IT!

Will Jeff Epstein Walk Free

Jeff Epstein is a low life who should spend the rest of his life in prison. To be totally honest Jeff Epstein should have to have his testicles cut off with a chainsaw without the benefit of any anesthesia while all of his victims take part in the mutilation. But should Jeff Epstein be in jail now? Legally, that is.

I first learned of Jeff Epstein in 2009. As luck would have it, multiple settlements in my case were purportedly settled by Epstein. He was supposedly settling lawsuits against him by underage girls who had been his victims prior to his going to prison. Brad Edwards, who never went to prison claimed that he represented these plaintiffs. We even looked at case files. The fact that Brad Edwards was never indicted remains a mystery to this day. I have my own theory on that which I am electing to keep to myself. For now, that is.

What is noteworthy is that Jeff Epstein’s lawyers (one of who is a partner with one of my lawyers) managed to get him one of the best deals in history. It is a deal that highlights one of the many inequities in our criminal justice system. There is no one who could credibly argue that 99.9% of the population would not have received a prison term for over 20 years to be served in a less than friendly federal prison. Epstein, however served less than two years in a state prison and was eligible for work release every day! Jeff Epstein, one of the most despicable criminals and victimizers in modern history served less time than I did. Let that sink in for a moment.

How did that happen? Well the US Attorney at the time, Alex Acosta, cut Epstein a deal where he would plead guilty to a State of Florida charge. In exchange, Epstein and his co-conspirators received a pass on the federal charges. Why did they cut him this deal? I have no idea. Any way you slice it, Epstein got away with a very lenient sentence and got to keep basically all of his wealth because of who he was, who he knew and the size of his bank account. Disgusting. Only the purchase of Manhattan for  $24 worth of trinkets in 1626 by Peter Minuit comes close the deal Epstein made.

Nine years later the Miami Herald woke up and decided to shine a light on Acosta, Epstein, and the case in general. A year after they published their expose, Epstein was arrested and charged in New York for what is seems are the very crimes he pleaded guilty to in 2008. This should trouble anyone who has been found not guilty at trial or who has pleaded guilty, served time and now trying to rebuild his life. This is very scary.

Last month, the Supreme Court ruled that double jeopardy, which prevents a defendant from being charged for the same crime does not apply if there are overlapping governmental jurisdictions. In other words, someone can go to trial on the federal level, be found not guilty and then the State of Florida can decide to prosecute him for the very same crime if an overzealous prosecutor decides that a State law was violated as well. This is obviously an insane ruling, but it was affirmed by the Supreme Court.

As insane as that is, however, what is even more appalling is that it now seems that a defendant can be tried for the same crime on the federal level if the indictments are issued in different districts. Jeff Epstein cut a deal in Miami in 2008 and now it seems, on the surface at least that he is being charged with the same crime in New York 10 years later. Of course, it is possible that new crimes have been committed. Realistically, this indictment represents a do-over on a deal that the feds are not happy about.

Why should this bother the white-collar defendant? One of the most common catch all while collar charges is Wire Fraud or Conspiracy to Commit Wire Fraud. The very definition of Wire Fraud is a transaction that crosses state lines. Many defendants accused of Wire Fraud will have alleged victims in multiple states. Someone sitting in New York may have victims who live in New Jersey, Florida or California. In all likelihood, he is going to be charged in New York. Under the new Epstein rule the case may not be over once he resolves his case in New York be it through a plea deal, an acquittal or even a guilty verdict. Imagine if the defendant in New York decided to plead guilty in order to put the case behind him. He served his time, gets released and is now ready to rebuild. Upon release, an overzealous prosecutor in Florida, where one of the alleged victims resides, now decides that he is unhappy with the deal that the New York federal prosecutors gave the defendant. They decide to now re-indict in Florida since there is a victim from that state who also made a monetary transfer based on the alleged fraud. This is very scary!

The fact that Epstein is accused of the most heinous of crimes elicits little sympathy from the public. At the same time, we cannot, and we should have different types of laws and due process for different types of crimes. The rules have to be the rules whether someone stands accused of murder or money laundering. Today the New York prosecutors are charging someone with a crime in what amounts to a do over, irrespective of the nature of the crime. Do not fool yourselves. If it turns out that there is nothing new in the Epstein indictments, while-collar defendants are going to have to start bracing for the possibility of being indicted in multiple districts for the same crime. This cannot be allowed to happen!

I want to be clear. Jeffrey Epstein should not be a free man. He is a low life. In this country if a cop does not have a search warrant, goes into a house and finds a dead body, that evidence is disallowed, and a murderer walks free. We may not like it, but these laws are in place to protect the innocent, even if it means a guilty person goes free. I believe Epstein deserves to go to jail. I believe he should be placed in the worst prison in the country. I hope his cell mates do to him what he did to those poor girls. And I hope it hurts. Badly.  I just hope that the reason he goes is not because of crimes that were supposed to have been covered by a deal, even if it was a bad one. Oh, and Brad Edwards? He also belongs in jail too!

WHEN FRIENDS BECOME ENEMIES AND SECRETS ARE REVEALED

Getting implicated in a crime comes with many challenges. There are financial challenges, social challenges, and of course familial challenges. Luckily, most of those who face these challenges are fortunate enough to have family and friends to support them and to lift them up while the horizon is bleak. These relationships are critical to the mental survival of someone going through any one of life's challenges and especially one where his freedom is on the line.

At the same time there are few things more aggravating than finding out that someone who was thought to be a friend was merely an opportunistic parasite trying to capitalize on another's success. There are few things as demoralizing than realizing that someone who was supposed to be part of a support system is suddenly absent. There is nothing worse than the feeling of having been used. There is no greater snake than a former friend or partner who is willing to "cooperate" with prosecutors by falsely implicating a former friend and partner in order to cleanse their own conscience from their own improper actions. Even after the case is over, the person implicated and possibly convicted of the crime will try and convince himself that this person or these people are still his friends. Eventually, however, it will become clear to him that this former friend was never anything of the kind. It may take one, two or even three years but eventually there will be some triggering event that brings the truth to the forefront. And that is when it is time to get even. 

The first way to get even is by not getting screwed again. Most people who were successful will find a way to re-establish themselves. Once again, this former friend will try and use him to get ahead. It could be something as simple as a client referral from a new employer or for a client referral. The idea is not to fall victim to their deceptions once again. Not only should the person implicated avoid doing business with his former partner(s), but he should make sure no one he works with does so either. This former partner is a bad character, is a snake, and there is no way a former felon should allow his new life and his new associates to be victimized by this person or persons.

And then there are the secrets. The good news for anyone who has been used by one of these types of "friends" is that during this so-called friendship, plenty of information was shared that this former friend would never want revealed. Ample texts would likely have been exchanged. More than a few secrets would have been told. In other words, if someone is going to run for the hills when a friend and partner is implicated, he and/or she better be sure that there is nothing that can come out later that would embarrass them in front of former and current clients as well as their friends. When the person implicated is extricated from the situation either by serving a prison sentence or by getting the charges dropped, he will likely be very eager to do whatever necessary to remind this former friend, partner and colleague that he and/or she should have been a little more careful when running for the hills. In other words, payback's a bitch.

Now let’s say for example I had partner(s) like this. One would be surprised the type of secrets someone reveals when they are trying to pretend to be a friend. Marital indiscretions are one thing that can often come up. Now this may not be an actual admission of cheating, but it could very well be an episode that happened long ago that this person may not want revealed to his or her significant other, much less their social circle or the public at large. It may be something that happened recently that spouses do not want their life-partners to know about. This is the type of information that that the person who is embroiled in a criminal probe will be all too happy to reveal when everything concludes.

Of course, there is also the conduct of that person or persons while they were in a business with the person who finds himself involved on the criminal probe. The irony is that the person under indictment may have had pure intentions or may have had no idea what he   was doing was actually illegal. Alternatively, what he did was not actually illegal even if he pleaded guilty to it in order to spare his family the agony of a trial and the risk of a long sentence with an adverse verdict. The "friend"/ partner, on the other hand was motivated purely by greed. He and/or she wanted in only to take advantage of a friend's new-found luck. As such the actions he/she took may have been deliberately conceived to get rich at the expense of their own contacts and clients using a web of deception. In other words, the "friend(s)" may have committed actual crimes while the person under investigation was innocent all along. 

Of course, if anything was actually sent over an email, one would assume that all of this would have been handled over to the prosecutors so that this friend's misdeeds would have come to attention to those investigating any alleged crimes. That is both true and untrue. Firstly, a prosecutor needs to decide who to prosecute. Perception might be that these other ancillary members are just not important enough. Secondly, prosecutors may not fully understand the context of the emails and since the person under investigation is not about to throw his friend(s) under the bus, there is simply not a witness to corroborate the information contained in the emails. Third, the prosecutors may feel that these other people are more useful to provide information than they are being indicted and they simply decide to use them to try and get who they view as the big fish.

Then, of course there is the ultimate wild card, and that relates to information never seen by prosecutors. Prosecutors have the right to subpoena all records that they feel are related to a crime. At the same time, defendants have a fifth amendment right not to self-incriminate. That line gets murky when it comes to email and even more murky when it comes to text messages, Blackberry messages, i-messages and even WhatsApp messages from a personal phone. Lawyers will generally agree that a corporate email account has to be turned over to the prosecutors, but that's it. Imagine if you will that text messages and Blackberry messages were never turned over to federal prosecutors. Imagine if you will that those messages contained statements from a former partner/friend that said something like "there is no way Henry will find out about these fees, right?" Or, " I don't even like this person, but he has enough money to invest". A text may say "I don't even want him as a client, but I need to be nice to him so that he keeps investing," or "Can we charge him double fees for being a pain in the ass?" While these are all troubling and may even be incriminating to the person who sent them none is worse than "I don't want them to know that I am making money off this".  Of course, many secrets that a spouse would not his or her significant other to know about would also likely be contained in these text messages. 

As it turns out, none of these texts, messages would have been seen by federal prosecutors since a defendant will generally assert the fifth amendment privilege whenever possible, even if there is information contained in those texts that is exculpatory since there may be other text messages that, when taken out of context, will not help a defendant. Of course, once the case is over either via acquittal or completion of a prison term, all bets are off. The person implicated now has no incentive to keep this information private. They can be used in a book (hint, hint), simply placed on the internet or even emailed in their entirety to the clients this former friend and partner deceived. I imagine that these clients or even partners would not be too happy. Nor would the employers or even state regulatory agencies that oversee the employment of such individual(s), especially if it violated state regulatory laws such as finance, real estate, insurance, law, mortgages, lobbying, agriculture, accounting, etc. It is possible that this former friend and partner would be prohibited by state law from continuing to work in his and/or her chose profession. It is possible that the information, once revealed, would destroy a marriage. 

There are some who would assert that the person who was implicated in the crime feel bad for releasing this information; for possibly ruining someone's life. Well, that argument rings hollow to someone who has gone through the criminal justice system. He may have been separated from his family by going to prison, had his career destroyed, had a strain put on his family life or at the very least had to spend a fortune on legal fees. There is not going to be any sympathy on his part for any suffering endured by those who took advantage of and then abandoned him. No, this is exactly what he and/or she deserves. None of the suffering that they may or may not endure will even come close to that endured by the defendant himself. 

The message for the former felon is to remember that there will be a time for the truth to come out. Those who turn on you will ultimately come face to face with their misdeeds. They will know, their clients will know, their friends will know, and the entire community will know. If they are upstanding members of their communities on boards of schools, charities, and religious organizations they will be knocked down. And for the former friends and partners I say this: Nothing stays secret forever.

SECRETS OF THE PRISON CAMP ECONOMY

Prisons in general are not unlike miniature civilizations. Just as ordinary citizens are grouped by race, ideology, religion and background, so too are prisoners. It is not as though the prison actually separates inmates by race-not in a camp anyway-but just as people choose their social circles outside of prison based on a whole array of criteria, so to do prisoners. And just as any functioning civilization has an economy, so does the prison system.

It is important to note that it is against prison rules for anyone to provide goods and services to another inmate for any sort of compensation, be it monetary or even sexual (hey some guys are down for a long time). Those are the official rules and actually being caught breaking such rules can result in all sorts of penalties. The reality, however, is radically different. Thea prison system has a functioning economy where many inmates provide different types of goods or services to other inmates for compensation. Some inmates decide to do this because they need money to get food from their commissary and some do it simply to pass the time. The dirty little secret of prison is, at least when it comes to a camp, that you can get almost anything you want and for a minimal amount of money have all the services of home.

Before I go into what types of good and services are sold, it is important to understand the currency system in prison. Unlike the real world, prisoners cannot carry around money with them. Being caught with cash will earn an inmate an express pass to solitary confinement. The way inmates purchase food from the commissary is by using funds sent into their account. It is sort of like a bank account that a prisoner draws on to go shopping without ever being able to touch the money. Two of the most commonly purchased items are tuna and mackerel in a pouch. These items are not purchased for consumption; rather they are purchased to act as a means of exchange. When a prisoner buys something he pays in tuna or its dollar equivalent. When I was in prison the price of a tuna pouch was $1.50 so if someone wanted to charge me $15 for something, I would have to give him 10 tunas, or 15 mackerels which cost $1 each. On the other hand, there were some items for which there was no monetary value ascribed. The cost of something would simply be a defined number of tunas or its equivalent value in commissary. For example, the cost of a cigarette was one tuna. If a prisoner did not have tuna, he would have to give the seller $1.50 in commissary money when he went shopping.

Speaking of cigarettes, anyone who has watched even one prison movie knows that cigarettes are sold in prison. The cost of one cigarette is directly tied to the degree of difficulty of obtaining it. In the higher security prisons, cigarettes need to be smuggled in either through the visiting room or through the guards who actually bring in most of the contraband for a fee. As a result, a cigarette in those prisons will cost close to $10. In a camp however, cartons of cigarettes are simply tossed over the fence by friends of the inmates and then the inmate just walks over to the fence when no one is looking and picks it up. In other words, whereas in a more secure prison, the risk surrounds obtaining it, in a camp the risk involves holding on to and hiding it. As a result, the price in camp cigarette is a fraction of a secure prison cigarette. For many inmates who are allowed to finish lengthy sentences in a camp setting, this means a serious reduction in their monthly income.

My first exposure to the prison economy came the day I arrived at the camp. Not one hour passed when a nice kid, who spoke very little English came over and after five minutes was able to tell me he was offering to do my laundry! The cost? $35 per month which included my laundry being washed, dried and folded two times a week. On one of those days he would also wash my linens and make my bed when the wash was done. All fees were to be paid in tuna. While I did not commit to avail myself of the services of this young entrepreneur, I was impressed by his assertiveness. I soon learned that the laundry business was very competitive and that if I shopped around, I would be able to lower the price!

I am not the neatest person. Don't get me wrong, dirt completely disgusts me, and I need everything around me to be clean. But when it comes to organizing my shoes, making my bed neatly, and getting rid of clutter, well let’s just say I have other strengths. Unfortunately for me, in prison your bed has to be made tightly, the area around the bed must be clear of anything and the shoes must be organized under the bed. This presented a problem. I was not going to risk being written up for my bed being made poorly. I also did not want to spend my mornings stressing over sweeping and cleaning and attempting in vain to make my bed properly. However no sooner than 12 hours after arrival was this problem solved. Another entrepreneurial fellow from Puerto Rico named Castro offered to handle all of that for me. If I wanted him to make my bed every day, the cost was eight tunas a month. If I wanted him to sweep the area, empty the trash and clean under my bed every day, that was also eight tunas a month. I could however go with the package deal and pay him 10 tunas a month and he would make my bed and clean my area every day. He would also mop once a week. 10 tunas equated to $15. So, for $15 per month I had all of this taken care of. Sold. I decided to do my own laundry for now.

Once a week we got to go shopping. The way it worked was the one quarter of the camp went each day Monday-Thursday. With 400 inmates that meant there could potentially be 100 people shopping per day. Shopping in prison is not like going to Walmart. It is more like the canteen system in summer camp. Every inmate is given a form, he fills it out, brings it to the commissary, hands it to the officer, who in turn gives it to the inmates who work in the commissary who fill the order. If an inmate is not there as soon as the commissary opens, he may be waiting well over an hour for his stuff. I did not have such patience, so I made sure to try to get there first. One time, I got there late and had to wait a very long time. Luckily, I found out there was a commissary VIP service. One of the inmates who worked there would take your list with him when he went to work in the morning. When he saw you walk in, he would fill your order before anyone else who was waiting. The cost of this service was one tuna. I figured my time, even in prison was worth more than $1.50 per hour and signed up for the VIP service. Many months later I started bunking with this fellow and was able to barter stock market lessons for free VIP service.

Before entering prison, I decided that I was going to use my time productively. I wanted to get into shape. I was always an avid runner, so it was easy to expand on that when there was not much else to do. Bulking up was another matter. I needed help in that department. Lucky for me, prison has no shortage of personal trainers. I chose one named Pete mainly because he was a nice Italian guy who got along with the Jews. For roughly 20 tunas a month, Pete would train me four days a week. He was smarter than most of the other inmates, so he preferred to be paid in cash via my commissary. As a result, I was probably the only person who would order both the kosher meals and pork every week. This was money well spent and I would say a necessity for anyone who can afford it. By the time I left prison I was in the best shape of my life. I was bench pressing close to 200 pounds and had slimmed to 155 pounds. There was not an ounce of fat on me. The only downside being that now when I go to the gym, I still think I can pay the trainer in tuna.

The food in prison is not very good or healthy. It is even worse for an inmate such as me who keeps kosher. If an inmate, particularly a kosher inmate wants to eat well, he needs to turn to other sources of food. The interesting about prison is while services such as cleaning are cheap, goods are very expensive even in a camp. It took a while, but I was eventually able to tap into alternative markets for food. The inmates who worked in various kitchens used to smuggle out and then sell all sorts of items that oddly enough never appeared on the menu. I was suddenly able to buy eggs (one tuna for three eggs), peppers cucumbers, lettuce and tomatoes. Ordinary inmates were even able to buy raw chicken and meat! This was all critical as I was getting in shape. Not only was I in the best shape of my life by the time I left, I was also eating healthier and was on an all protein diet of tuna and eggs! 

For many inmates getting food solved only half of the problem. They still needed to cook it. Have no fear, prison has an abundance of chefs who will cook any and every meal. Some of the chefs would even handle the food acquisition portion while others simply worked with what was supplied. I still remember a fellow named Mario who must have been generating $2000 a month in revenue. He had his own kitchen in the back of the dorms and would cook everything from chicken parm sandwiches to burgers to pizza. He even had a kitchen staff working on the presentation! There were others who use to make yogurt. Some people made cakes and would sell slices for a tuna. There was even and old hillbilly name Chuck who had a special gnash recipe. At one point we even got it certified kosher!  If someone wanted to and had the means he could have a personal chef and actually eat quite well in prison as long as he avoided the prison food.

Eventually I decided that waiting for the washing machine and drier was not for me. Laundry started becoming a two-hour event mainly because the people with the laundry business kept on hogging the machines. Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I decided to hire McCoy as by laundry man. McCoy was a 50 something African American who had been down a long time. Aside from his being very good at his job, race played a factor. I needed to make sure that I had protection from the various cliques and gangs. I already had the Puerto Ricans covered since Castro was on the Payroll, I had the white people through Pete, and now the African Americans through McCoy. For 15 tunas a month he would do my laundry twice a week which included folding and linens. He did a much better job folding than I could which was critical because of how little space inmates had. I also had a lot of laundry since I changed three times a day. McCoy offered an ironing service if you wanted to look extra crisp for visitors. This is where I drew the line. I was not paying for ironing in prison. Some people would have their uniforms altered. Luckily there was a tailor who could perform this service. 

Anyone who had a skill set was able to generate income. There was a manicurist, a masseuse and even someone who was willing to shave your back for a tuna. There were inmates who fancied themselves prison lawyers who would type up legal briefs and even dole out legal advice. These were not lawyers by any stretch. They were simply inmates who claimed they knew how to type legal briefs. Why anyone would trust another inmate to help him get out of prison is beyond me. If he was that good, he probably would himself be out. There are plenty of prisoners who want to write a book. Unfortunately, they cannot type. There are typists who will charge a tuna per page to put handwritten notes onto a typewriter. There are inmates who are artists. For a negotiated fee, they will make something for your wife.

Of course, there is plenty of contraband. Aside for the cigarettes, there is plenty of booze ($50-$100 per bottle) and synthetic pot like k2 if an inmate wants. The real trophy is cell phones. There are a lot of cell phones and a few inmates managed to smuggle them in and would sell them. The easiest way was to get a guard on the payroll. However, like anything else plenty of phones came in simply by being thrown over the fence. I still remember one night when I walked in an saw someone facetiming his girlfriend!

So, what was my hustle? I actually did not have one. I was only going to be there for 10 months and it did not make much sense to go into business! I did however back into two businesses. The first came after I injured my elbow during one of my workout sessions with Pete. Prison healthcare is not exactly the best, so I was simply given me 800 mg Ibuprofen two times a day. After a couple of days, I was given a 30-day supply or a total of 60 pills! I had no use for so much pain medication. I quickly learned that there were plenty of inmates who wanted these pills. I decided to sell them for $5 per pill paid in tuna or any other way. I manage to sell around 20 of them which meant that for the rest of my time there my cleaning and laundry service did not actually cost me anything. I had to go to prison to become a drug dealer. Go figure.

I also managed to use my financial background to my benefit in prison. Tuna while an effective medium of exchange was useless if it was not somehow monetized. Anyone with a hustle found themselves with too much tuna and they needed to convert it into commissary money. My bunky was one such person. In addition to his VIP commissary service he also ran a small convenience store out of his locker. He always had 200-300 tunas at any time. He needed to convert it to cash so that he can go to the commissary and buy more inventory. I agreed to buy his tuna for $1.15 in commissary. I would normally buy 20 at a time so when I went shopping, I would allow him to spend $23 or so. The tuna I bought from him was able to be used to pay my vendors. What ended up happening was the following. I would buy tuna from my bunky. I would then use that tuna to pay Castro to make my bed. Castro would then go back to my bunky and buy a soda with that tuna and then my bunky would then sell me back that very tuna for $1.15! And the process would just repeat itself. I managed to figure out an arbitrage system within prison. I did have thoughts of opening a bank and arranging to hold tuna deposits and advance tuna loans, but I decided that it involved too much work for the amount of time I had remaining.

Prison, particularly prison camp, is really just a microcosm of real life. There really is a functioning economy. This is beneficial for everyone. For those with the means, it definitely improves a very unfortunate experience. For those who are willing to work, it gives them a method to earn some extra money that can be used for clothing, food or anything else. And there you have it: Prison Economics 101.

MICHAEL "RAT" COHEN GETS THREE YEARS IN PRISON (OR DOES HE????)

NEWS ALERT!

Like everyone else in the country, I have been waiting to see how long of a prison sentence Michael Cohen would receive today. If anyone read the filing submitted by the prosecutors last week, he would see that the guidelines called for Cohen to receive a 42-month sentence. Essentially, the judge gave him a break for being willing to throw the President under the bus, irrespective of whether his assertions are true.

Now it is time for a reality check. Michael Cohen is not going to spend three years in prison. In-fact, his total time in Federal Prison, if he plays his cards right, will be closer to one year, not the three that was advertised. Ironically, as I will point out, he would be facing less time in prison had he been sentenced to 37 months instead of 36 months.

So how does it really work? Firstly, everyone who behaves gets a 15% reduction in his sentence. For Cohen that means that his total prison term in closer to 30 months. Next, since Michael Cohen presumably had a good lawyer, he has disclosed an alcohol or drug dependency, as did I. For Cohen that means that he is eligible to enroll in RDAP (Residential Drug Abuse Program). The RDAP program lasts a little over nine months and focuses on the issues that lead to addiction and criminal behavior. A lot of time is spent on behavior modification. It is intense and takes up a good part of the day. RDAP inmates have their own dorm within the prison. RDAP inmates are held to a higher standard of behavior and if an RDAP prisoner messes up or if the RDAP staff feels a prisoner is not responding to the program, his graduation is delayed.

While prison life as an RDAP inmate is slightly more unpleasant than for everyone else, the reward for completing RDAP is time off from the sentence. The total time off is based on the total length of the sentence.  An inmate with a 36-month sentence, before the good time reduction, is going to have his sentence reduced by nine months for completing the program. In Cohen's case that means his 30-month sentence will be lowered to 21 months. Beyond that, virtually everyone is assured that the last 10% of their sentence be served under home confinement where he is permitted to go to work every day. That takes Cohen down to 18 months in actual prison. Beyond that, everyone gets at least some time in a halfway house setting where they go to work every day and go home for the weekends. RDAP graduates need to spend part of their time in the halfway house going through additional counseling. As a result, and because there is a belief that addicts need more time to reintegrate into society, RDAP inmates generally get more time in the halfway house than non RDAP inmates. 

Based on what I have seen, there is a better than good chance that Cohen will receive a least six months of time in the halfway house in addition to his three months of home confinement. Cohen will therefore likely serve about one year in actual prison and a total of nine months in the halfway house or home confinement. To put it another way, of the 36-month sentence handed down, only 33% of it will be served in actual prison.

There is a weird quirk in the calculation of time that a prisoner gets off for completing RDAP. On a 36-month sentence, a prisoner is eligible for nine months off his sentence. However, on a 37 month sentence he is eligible for a full year off his sentence. Had Cohen been sentenced to one additional month, he would have been at 31 months factoring in good time. He would have then had a full year taken off his sentence for completing RDAP for a total sentence of 19 months instead of 21. From there is would have taken the same 3 months off for home confinement which would have taken him down to 16 months. If he would have received the same six months of halfway house, he would have only done 10 months in actual prison. Of course, that would have been contingent on his being admitted to RDAP as soon as he arrives in prison since it does take over nine months to complete RDAP. It also assumes he doesn't do anything to delay his completion of the program.

So, Michael Cohen got a pretty good deal. He did what was best for himself and more importantly for his family as do over 80% of all defendants. However, as I mentioned six months ago,  http://www.whitecollarguru.com/2018/07/michael-cohen-is-going-to-jail-and-it.html, when I predicted Cohen would go to prison, life in prison is not going to exactly pleasant for him. Being known as a snitch, even in a camp that could be exclusively white collar, is not a label that any prisoner wants placed on him. Yet Michael Cohen is going to enter prison as a snitch who tried to bring down a President. So, while 36 is going to really be 12 it is going to be the worst year of his life. Good Luck!